Archive for the ‘Website’ Category

Seek And Ye Shall Find (10/07)

Thursday, November 1st, 2007

Interesting searches that led to my website in October:

  1. nude pictures of m monro – Hey, stop looking for photos of my husband au natural. I burned the pictures as soon as I discovered we were married!
  2. steve perry s back on the road 7 years after journey s end – If he is, it’s probably just a rumor. Unless you count going to the grocery stores and baseball games as “on the road.”
  3. amanda thumbs – I have two. They’re quite nice.
  4. alison monro images – Hmm, she must be my sister-in-law. She heads the band Monro and is apparently a Scientologist.
  5. papercut earwig – Is that one way to kill them?
  6. gaydars in new york – I live in New York and have a pretty good gaydar.
  7. hello – Why, hello to you too.
  8. pic of people cramming for mid-terms – I bet this was someone from The Ram looking for a last-minute front page photo. Some things never change.
  9. fluid draining out of ear on pillow – Yuck. Perhaps you should see a doctor.
  10. eileen monro – not only do I have another sister-in-law, but both of them have the same names as my college roommates!
  11. positives of flesh eating disease – Umm…
  12. yuppification yoga – The next strech is called the Tall Grande Venti.
  13. robert moses field 5 nude beach photos – Are you even allowed to have cameras there? Not like there’s much to see. Mostly fat, sunburned Fire Islanders.
  14. bob barker pump you good – I guess this gives new meaning to, “Come on down!”

And this month, there were were about 17 different queries, totalling over 50 hits, for nude pictures of Annaliese Van Der Pol. For the last time, I don’t have any! Gosh.

Seek And Ye Shall Find (09/07)

Sunday, September 30th, 2007

Here are some of the more interesting Google search terms people used to stumble upon my website for the month of September:

  1. when the moment comes take the first one from the right – Apparently, I was not the only person to get this Chinese fortune cookie. At least five others have, as well. I feel so gypped.
  2. when the moment comes take the last one from the left – But wait a second, isn’t the last one from the left the first one from the right?
  3. why is the neulasta injection so expensive? – Beats me, but medication prices piss me off too.
  4. what happens when someone gets gangrene? – I may have to Google that myself, but if you’re interested in what gangrene looks like, go here (warning – not for weak stomachs).
  5. charley horse in upper left arm – That’s possible? I thought it only happened in your leg.
  6. nicolock sucks – Thanks for the warning.
  7. subway doo wop time – If anyone asks you for the time on the A train, here’s your answer.
  8. garage sale one day or two day – Spare yourself and donate to charity.

Well, that’s really it for the month. There are still people searching for naked pictures of Anneliese Van Der Pol, the “Barefoot Contessa” theme song and why Journey fired their last lead singer. Someone also searched about indecent activites on a Metro-North train, but that’s best left off my Rated PG site. I bet it was a foamer.

Seek And Ye Shall Find (08/07)

Wednesday, August 29th, 2007

Interesting Google searches that led to my website for the month of August:

  1. nextel chirp-chirp the music note – Someone willingly listens to this? It’s like fingernails across a chalkboard! Unfortunately, there’s a Nextel everywhere you turn on Long Island.
  2. change in smell after chemotherapy – I smelled like waffles. Seriously.
  3. coney island type perfume oil – Someone wants to smell like Coney Island? I imagine it would be a mixture of eau de Nathan’s hot dogs, saltwater and the D train.
  4. hate chase -david -diane -bird -amv -paper -chevy -lyrics -kyle – Wow, whoever searched for this really has issues with things and people. Perhaps you should look into therapy. I don’t think it’s normal to hate Chase, birds, paper and Kyle.
  5. ct scan wax islip – Is that a new sort of spa treatment?
  6. how to prioritize my day – When you figure that out, let me know. I’m quite bad at time management myself.
  7. amanda asks what would google do? – Probably take over whatever it is, like it has with everything else.
  8. amanda noelle looks likeThis. Or if you prefer a pumpkin, then like this.
  9. someone using stolen credit card at metrocard vending machine – If you see something, say something, but don’t look on Google… call the MTA police!
  10. nude 8year olds – Please, please, please tell me that was a typo and you were actually looking for naked college co-eds. If not, please find a therapist. Bring the person who hates Chase, birds, paper and Kyle along with you.

And nevermind the amount of people looking for nude shots of various people on my site… this site is rated PG, move along!

Seek And Ye Shall Find (07/07)

Tuesday, July 31st, 2007

Interesting Google searches that led to my website for the month of July:

  1. behrs furniture theme song – Why the heck would you torture yourself like this?
  2. metrocard refund – (212) METROCARD. Good luck, you’ll need it.
  3. finding artifacts rockaway jamaica bay – Where you can find a great third rail insulator, busted TV sets and barrels of radioactive ooze.
  4. i hate chase / i hate bank of america / chase charges bounced check / i hate the chase bank commercial / disgruntled customers of chase / i hate chase bank – Glad to see I’m not the only disgruntled one.
  5. googley eyes – My mother says if I do that, my eyes will stick that way.
  6. noelle north nude / rockaway beach nude / annaliese van der pol naked / noelle scott nude – Does this look like a porn site to you? NO! Rated PG folks, move on…
  7. r ye nekkid? – NO! Doth I look nekkid to ye? ‘Tis not a porn site – move on!
  8. she left her stole at grand central station – Well, let’s just hope Metro-North’s lost and found doesn’t suck as much as the LIRR’s.
  9. lymph node protrude yawn – Erm… perhaps you should get that checked out.
  10. did journey fire jeff scott soto – Yes, enough already!
  11. robert moses field 5 nude – No, Field 5 is not nude! Child-friendly – no wee-wees and ta-tas allowed! Walk east if you want to bare all.
  12. my favorite songs by styx – How am I supposed to know?
  13. how to use bus in battleon – Like you would use a bus anywhere else. You wait for it to stop, open its doors, climb aboard, pay the fare and sit down.
  14. amanda’s arse – Excuse me? See numbers 6 and 7!

Seek & Ye Shall Find (06/07)

Wednesday, June 27th, 2007

Oh, how I love datamining. Interesting searches that have led to my websit this past month:

  1. lirr lymphoma / lymphoma lirr – So apparently the Long Island Rail Road caused my cancer?
  2. jeremey hunsicker journey / jeff scott soto leaves journey / jeremey hunsicker next journey lead singer? / what happened to scott soto from journey! / jeff soto leaves journey – Journey’s press releases are so bad that fans apparently have to turn to other fans’ blogs to get the news.
  3. jess scott soto leaves journey – Looks like Jeff has a sister I didn’t know about.
  4. behrs furniture jingle / trust sleepys for the rest of your life / jingles long island / rock rock rock rockaway bedding – Looks like others are tortured by horrible jingles, as well.
  5. long beach lirr nude – Okay, I’ve never been on a train to Long Beach, and now I don’t think I want to. And in other nekkid searches…
  6. annaliese van der pol nude or naked or topless – Eww, eww, eww! She’s on Disney Channel shows aimed at children. Bad!
  7. busy and amanda – Yes, an appropriate Boolean search.
  8. lexcie amanda – One word: stalker!
  9. jersey fried dough – If you find out what Jersey fried dough is, let me know. In New York, it’s zeppoles. In Massachusetts, it’s an entire pizza crust.
  10. tupperware – Another poor soul searching for Tupperware. I feel for you, I really do. A tip to the person searching: if you lost it on the LIRR, consider it a goner. Sorry.
  11. do the charlie brown song – Okay, my cousin taught me the move at a recent family party. Grab your right leg at the ankle and bring up so your foot is almost at your waist. At the same time, put your left hand on the back of your head. Flap both your arm and leg like a chicken. There, you’re doing the Charlie Brown.
  12. speonk – You won’t find Speonk on my website, but you could catch the 5:09 p.m. train from Penn Station, stopping at: Jamaica, Babylon, Bay Shore, Islip, Great River, Oakdale, Sayville, Patchogue, Mastic-Shirley and Speeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeonk.
  13. chinese flavourings – Hmm, not sure I know of any, but it’s cool that a British person visited my site.
  14. all you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should made you worried or upset – Wow, those are some words of wisdom right there. I’ll try to live my life like this more often. Thanks!

Hello, Stalkers

Wednesday, June 13th, 2007

I know there’s a bunch of you reading my blog besides my usual commenters. I see your IP addresses and know who you are. So say hi and leave a note that you dropped by. I don’t bite :o)

Okay, maybe sometimes I do ;o)

Seek & Ye Shall Find (05/07)

Tuesday, May 29th, 2007

I was just looking through my cpanel and came across some interesting search terms that people used before stumbling upon my site. I think I shall compile the amusing ones monthly:

  1. neighbor shooting squirrels – I’m baffled as to why someone would search for this.
  2. animals that come out at night – Yep, that would be me. Sleep with one eye open.
  3. barefoot contessa jingle – Uh, okay. It’s not a jingle, it’s a instrumental theme song. And it sucks. Why would you even want it?
  4. nicolock pavers problems – Do I look like a masonry help desk?
  5. lyrics found the peanut by noelle and john – Can’t say I know the song. But here’s another nutty one for you.
  6. how to get to long beach lirr – You may want to try MTA‘s website. Never been to Long Beach and would probably get you lost.
  7. chicken drowsy dizzy -pox -tylenol -drug -soul – No explanation for this one, but it sounds like it could be the next hit party song. Especially with pantomime.
  8. squirrel peanut butter jingle – What’s with people and songs about peanuts?
  9. where is amanda now? – Right here.
  10. lots of bookshelves – Try Ikea or Strand Bookstore.

Millions of Peaches

Sunday, April 29th, 2007

Okay, I think I’ve finally tweaked my website into something that pleases me. I dislike the fact that I am such a perfectionist sometimes; it has left many unfinished projects cluttering my life, like the book I was supposed to finish over a year ago.

I will have another project to undertake in five weeks, once my house’s renovations are finished. Right now, my house has no front – just a blue tarp, making it look like a giant camping tent. I went to Atlanta for three days earlier this week, and I came home to find my bedroom, my brother’s bedroom and the foyer in a 20-cubic-yard dumpster. In a few weeks, I’ll have a new bedroom, about 15 square feet larger than my old room (which many of you know was about the size of a closet). I’ve decided to go with a very simple color theme – light tan walls with dark wood accents. I have a lot of New York City-themed artifacts, like posters and subway signs, that I will decorate with it. And, of course, it will include lots and lots of bookshelves. I think I’m beginning to rival The Strand.

Speaking of Atlanta, I already miss being there. If my heart weren’t so tied to New York and my family, I’d move there. Life is so much simpler and goes by much slower. People are so polite. And the plethora of sweet tea and Chick-Fil-A isn’t too bad either! Check out my Yelp review page for all the places I visited while I was there. Unfortunately, I think I gained about 50 lbs. from all the good food… and that was without dessert! I’ve yet to find a place where I was actually able to order the final course, because the dinner portions were quite ginormous.  I can’t wait to go back, but it will probably be another year. Next stops are San Francisco, Miami and Washington, D.C.