Archive for the ‘Rant’ Category

Summer, It Turns Me Upside Down

Saturday, May 31st, 2008

There are two things I hate about post-Memorial Day.

The first is the beachgoers that travel to Fire Island, the Hamptons and Montauk every Friday afternoon and Monday morning. They all travel on my LIRR line. Why are most of them annoying?

  • They pack three full-sized suitcases for a two-day weekend. I was able to go on a six-day Alaskan cruise with one carry-on.
  • There’s an abundance of grating Long Island accents. You’ll, like, hear, like, the word “like,” like, interjected every three seconds.
  • They’re glued to their cell phones, usually involved in some drama than invokes the grating Long Island accent. Peace and quiet doesn’t exist on Friday afternoon trains anymore. Pre-Memorial and post-Labor Days, you can hear a pin drop on the 5:09.
  • They are often accompanied by yapping pocketbook dogs.
  • They have no respect for daily commuters. They think their pooches and Vera Bradley duffel bags deserve a seat, when neither carry a ticket. They also block the aisle. The daily commuters loathe them. We talk about them before the summer starts and how much we hate summer Fridays.

Well, they’re back with a vengance. (more…)

Brought To You By The Letter – WHY?

Tuesday, November 20th, 2007

I read an interesting blog by Ada Calhoun today on whether “Sesame Street” ruined Generation X in response to a New York Times article by Virginia Heffernan. Apparently, there is a warning on the back of the Sesame Street: Old School DVD that says “These early ‘Sesame Street’ episodes are intended for grown-ups, and may not suit the needs of today’s preschool child.”

I purchase the DVD for my mother last Christmas. The show holds a special place in her heart, especially since it debuted the same week my oldest sister was born in 1969. We’ve watched the first two episodes so far, and one particular segment stuck out: kids running through a construction site, learning words such as up, down, over, under and through. I wish I could find the clip on You Tube, because it involved kids running around broken bits of glass, rusty metal pieces and on top of sawhorses, if I recall correctly. As I watched it, I thought to myself that if the same scene played today, it would involve lawsuits, tetanus and Child Protective Services.

How about some characters that are no longer on the show?

  1. Lefty The Salesman – A creepy salesman in trenchcoat trying to sell inncocent Ernie various goods from an invisible ice-cream cone to a bottle of air? Oh no! And don’t forget the gangster mentions of Louie the Lip and The Golden An.
  2. Roosevelt Franklin – The jive talkin’ kid was removed from the series “following letters complaining of a negative African-American stereotype, and because his rowdy elementary school did not set a good example for children,” according to Muppet Wiki.
  3. Don Music – The agonized musician “was abandoned because of complaints about his alarming tendencies toward self-inflicted punishment. Apparently, kids were imitating his head-banging at home,” according to Sesame Street Unpaved.

In my opinion, even Cookie Monster jumped the shark when he sang “Healthy Food.”

I think Calhoun summed it up nicely:

“Kids today are often presented by kids’ programming with a misleading ‘everyone wins!’ version of reality. They could stand a little more misanthropic Oscar, a little less ‘Prozacky Elmo.'”

I couldn’t agree more. My generation doesn’t know how good we had it.

End Of An Era

Wednesday, September 19th, 2007

Yesterday, I attended a town meeting that addressed the fate of the Islip Triplex movie theater, which closed down in September 2006 after almost 60 years. It was subsequently purchased by local developer J.J. Nazarro Associates, who plans to raze the historic brick building and put a mixed-use retail center in its place.

However, Islip resident Marcalan Glassberg wants to turn it into a multi-use arts center, incorporating a dinner theater, performing arts center and an art cinema. You can read the background story at the New York Times and Islip Bulletin.

The town meeting was touted as a “Save the Theater,” but judging from the reaction of a good portion of the attendees, the gathering was anything but. (more…)

Pow, Pow

Thursday, August 23rd, 2007

Remember Islip? Yep, the town that Money magazine rated the safest in the U.S.A. in 2005?

Well, I was walking home from the train station with Lexcie and my dog at approximately 8:45 tonight when I heard a pop noise. I felt a sharp sting in my arm, then a burning sensation. Someone shot me with a BB gun.

Knowing very well which house it was, I called the Suffolk County Police Department. The cop was no help – he asked me if I had seen anyone shoot at me and where from. “It may not have been from that house,” he said. Well, hello, I wasn’t going to stick around to find out who was shooting at me, lest I get pelleted again! He said he would go over and check out what was going on, but something tells me he really didn’t give a rat’s arse.

At least I was wearing a denim jacket, which softened the blow. But now I have this huge welt on my arm.

Now I have to take a different route home from the station. Bastards.

Traveling Blues

Saturday, August 18th, 2007

Greetings from Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport.

I am way too early for my flight, but I didn’t want to possibly miss my flight after what happened at Islip-MacArthur Airport on Wednesday.  That day, my Southwest flight was at 7:00 a.m. Lexcie dropped me off at approximately 6:00 a.m., which is plenty of time if you need to check baggage and go through security. Well, usually enough time. (more…)

Why I Hate Chase

Tuesday, July 3rd, 2007

I am done with Chase credit cards. I will never charge a single dollar to one of those cards again, thanks to those blood-suckers. And here’s why:

I have three credit cards with Chase. One, I’ve had since 2002. Another was a Bank One card, which was purchased by Chase in 2004. The third was its new Chase Freedom Card (you’ll probably remember the commercial, which used the Rolling Stones’ song “Free”). The first two cards had fixed APRs in the low teens; the second has a 0% introductory offer.

Recently, I noticed that the first two cards – which were always paid on time, and above the minimum payment – had their APRs jacked up to approximately 28% and 25%, variable. (more…)

The Sound Of Silence

Thursday, June 23rd, 2005

Ahh…. the first days of summertime: the birds are singing, the waves are crashing, the thunder is booming, the lawnmowers are roaring, the dogs are barking, the kids are screaming, the stereos are blasting, the cars are revving… ARGH! Stop the noise pollution!

I love summer. Who doesn’t? But the barrage of unpleasant clamor really kills it for me sometimes. What is it about the season that encourages others to turn up the volume and blast other’s ears off? (more…)

A New Endangered Species

Wednesday, April 27th, 2005

My first job was babysitting four children, whose ages ranged from two to nine. The mother warned me that the oldest girl was “Nine going on 19,” and I laughed it off. However, when I met the daughter, I saw what she meant. The girl was wearing a low-cut shirt, nail polish and makeup.

“Let’s watch a movie,” I suggested, looking through their extensive Disney collection. I picked out Aladdin.

“Too babyish,” the girl told me. “I want to watch Friday the 13th.”

I informed her that it was rated R and we would not be watching it, because she was only nine, and her brother and sister would be watching it with us.

“But Mommy lets us,” she argued.

Sure enough, her mother stuck her head in the doorway right before she left for the night. “It’s okay for them to watch that movie,” she said.

I then found myself watching Friday the 13th with a four, seven and nine-year old. (more…)

The Heart Will Go On – But Not the 90s

Wednesday, February 9th, 2005

When a loved one dies, it’s natural to grieve and to with the person would come alive again to begin where you left off before the death. Even though, deep in our hearts, we know it’s best to let them settle in and get comfortable with their new afterlife.

However, there has been an influx of people digging up a certain fresh grave. The poor soul has only been dead for five years, but they keep shoveling up the dirt and disturbing his rest. It’s a horrifying story – really, it is. I’m sure you’ve heard about it. Oh, you say you haven’t? Just turn on your television. You’re bound to see him. His name is The Nineties. (more…)