Archive for the ‘Computer’ Category

Pop-Up Attack

Thursday, September 20th, 2007

I can’t decide what’s more annoying: Adobe, which has been incessently sending dialog boxes to my desktop to remind me to update my Shockwave Player, or Lexcie, the human pop-up, reminding me when I need to do things. See, my day goes like this:

Adobe (6:30 a.m.): You have new updates ready to download.
Me (6:31 a.m.): <clicks “Remind Me Later”>
Adobe (7:13 p.m.): You have new updates ready to download.
Me (7:14 p.m.): <clicks “Remind Me Later”>
Adobe (7:15 p.m.): You have new updates ready to download.
Me (7:16 p.m.): <clicks “Remind Me Later”>
Computer (7:16 p.m.): <freezes>


Lexcie (6:00 a.m.): Wake up! <makes human alarm noises>
Me: (6:00 a.m.): Five more minutes.
Lexcie: (6:04 a.m.): One more minute!
Me: (6:04 a.m.): Let me sleep until 6:05!
Lexcie: (6:05 a.m.): It’s 6:05!
Me: (6:05 a.m.): <no answer>
Lexcie: (6:06 a.m.): You’re one minute late! You said only five minutes!
Me: (6:06 a.m.): <clicks “Remind Me Later”>

At least I learned how to disable Adobe. However, Lexcie came without a user manual.

Come On (Thumbs) Down

Monday, May 28th, 2007

My Dell Inspiron 9300 laptop has been overheating the past week – to the point it burns my skin – so I did an online chat with Dell tech support. Boy, was I in for a suprise – and no, it wasn’t the fact that the motherboard and fan need replacing – but the tech actually had an Indian name! Yes, no more Kevin from Kolkatta or Donna from Delhi. Dell is no longer denying the fact that it outsources. I was quite amused. So, now a technician has to come replace those parts and put on new rubber laptop feet. I’m just glad I don’t have to ship the laptop to Texas again. Although repair turnaround is quick, I hate not having the laptop in my presence. I must say, though – Dell has excellent warranties.

And speaking of fixing and putting together, I had to assemble the new patio set today – our first new set in 26 years! However, the placement of the bolts in the chairs were such that they were extremely hard to tighten – and I had to use both an allen wrench and this cheap stubby wrench at a very bad angle in order to do so. Since my left hand is not as strong as my right, it was difficult to manuever both wrenches at the same time, and I flared up the tendinitis in my right thumb. My cousin was having difficulty, too, and by the time it came to put together the table, I enlisted the help of my sister’s boyfriend. If it were Ikea furniture, I doubt it would have been as difficult. Ugh.


For the past two nights, I have been laughing so hard that I’ve almost bust a gut. Over what? “The Price Is Right” bloopers. Some of the good ones:

Deliver Us From Evil Gay Men

Saturday, September 9th, 2006

I just set up speech recognition on Microsoft Word, then dictated “Our Father” to it. This is what it spit out:

Ballot father or have and hallowed be thy name taking been, that will be done on earth positives and haven’t give us the state are daily bread and forgiveness are dress presses as we forgive those to to to test and says the meanest not into temptation to deliver us from evil gay men

I think I need to train it a bit more!

Deadlier Than Pop Rocks & Coke

Wednesday, April 6th, 2005

If you read this column and pass it on to at least 15 of your friends, your phone will ring at 7:00 p.m. and it will be the president of Banana Republic, offering you a free gift certificate to Applebee’s as a reward for your finding little abducted Penny Brown, who is suffering from a rare flesh-eating disease she contracted after cockroaches eggs she ate in an infested Taco Bell burrito hatched in her mouth.

You don’t believe me, huh? (more…)